 Tuesday, November 14, 2006
 at 4:57 AMGuess what? Its 4.50 in the morning!Is not that I wake up early,is that I didnt even sleep.Dunnoe why but this few days,I just cant make myself to sleep.Its so abnormal.I hope I wont go back to the days in p5.The days where I loses sleep almost every night.Its just to weird!I feel very tired but I just cant sleep.I close my eyes but my brain is still so awake! Why?Can anyone just leave a comment on how to make myself to sleep! Gosh...Im gonna faint anytime if I continue to be like that!This has been the second day.Please dont let it be a third day.Is it because im too stress?Can someone just make me sleep?Im so exhausted.I wanna sleep. I wanna close my eyes and rest. Listening to snowflakes by Park Hyo Shin.The song in "I'm Sorry,I love you".Its the korean or I should say male version of " yuki no hana " by mika nakashima.Its a sad song like how I feel now.The drama " I'm Sorry , I love you" is a super nice korean drama after goong! Dunnoe why.Its ending is just a typical korean drama ending but it just makes me sob like hell! In the end.The couple who just admitted their love for each another dies.Why? Its a super nice drama.Recommended. Soon it will be 5 in the morning.Waiting for the sunrise?Maybe.At least let me get some credit for losing my sleep.*sigh* Or is it that im hungry? I didnt eat much for dinner.hmm...maybe! So? Its not that I would go out and buy myself a buffet home right?My dad is sleeping right inside.snoring out loud like a stereo or I should say amplifyer! He snores till I cant sleep! I tried many ways to sleep.Closing my eyes counting sheeps sure doesnt help alot,after I listen to my mp3.Listen to all the slow songs but it still doesnt work.Fine...My dad snores,I cant find the best position to sleep.My head is dizzy but I still cant sleep.GREAT! Great...its officially 5am now! Whoa...I've made it a whole day not to sleep! How nice?Yesterday afternoon was also like that.I close my eyes and no sleepness come.What the hell is wrong with me?Or is it because I have weird periods?Gosh...I need to catch my sleep but look! I still can continue typing coz Im just not tired but Im sleepy!What the hell?What the hell is wrong with me? Im getting on my nerves and this is the first time im angry with myself! And im getting frustrated EARLY IN THE MORNING!Omg...save me would you? I wanna go home.lying down on that pillow I've known for years.I wanna lie beside my huggies.I want my blanket.I want my bolster.I want everything at home.I need to go home.I NEED to go home. Its a must,its a need.I dun want to be here now.I need my home.You see..I can just start crying now! Listening to this sad song.Tears wanna run out suddenly.I wanna go home! Let me home will you? Although I dunnoe what the song means but I only know that this song suddenly means alot to me!It sure means alot suddenly..huh?Looking out of my big window.I see a big picture of the KL.Still dark,not alot of cars.Quiet.No lights shining all around.me?Typing this now.why arent I sleeping? Am I counted as happy or not now?I dun really know.I only know that people envy me for some things.But They also dont know alot of things happening behind those beautiful things they are envying.They sure dun wanna go through those things I went through. I want to be happy.=) A smile.Why cant I give one to myself now?I just feel so upset listening to the song.So Many thoughts come rushing towards my mind suddenly.Its like all the bad memories come knocking on my brain telling me to watch them.Hm..at least I could give a look at the past huh?wow...looking back. Did I changed or I just grow up and learnt from the past? I dunnoe...I like who I am now but I dont like now as in NOW!sleepless nights.tired mind.im not who I am now!...save me? xoxo, Happy thoughts! |
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