 Friday, November 10, 2006
 at 11:31 AMIm gonna die any moment... I want to go home! I want to leave this place! I want to go back to where I stay...I dun wanna come here anymore! I want to...DIE. Dun stress me out? You know that I cant withstand anymore...dun! I dun wanna do something regretful...Now,I only want to go home! I want to leave this place...I want to go back to my house,lying down on my bed. leave me alone. would you? Why wouldnt you leave me alone? Just let me distress just for one day wouldnt you? Dun force me...why? Why must you do this to me? Why cant you stand in my shoe and give me a thought? Dont you know that Im already very stress? Dun you know you make me hate you? Dont you know Im trying very hard to grab the family back? Dont you know that you are stressing a 13 yr old girl? I only wish that you would leave me alone for once or even spare a thought for me once.I dun need those gifts. I only want you to think.think what you have done to the family.think that we arent that rich anymore.think that we need your help! think that the family needs you? For once.....could you listen to what I say? Could you make life easier for me. You say you love me,but look at what you have done? You've hurt me alot! I never say this to you cause I dun wanna hurt you. And Idun wanna hurt you coz I love you.I love everyone in this family! You,dad,dage and erge. Everyone in this family is a part of me. You said you regret giving birth to me.I know I may have hurt you but what you've said,you hurt me more! but hey...why cant you think,Im the one who would sneak out of the house to meet you. Im the one who talks to you everyday! Im the ONLY ONE who cares for you.I pay my respect to you cause you're my mother but all the stress you're giving me are way too much. I know I cant choose my family so I accept you. But at least let me have the least respect to you wouldnt you? I love you and dad EQUALLY! Both of you made me. You guys created me. How wouldnt I love you? So I hope you dont think that I love dad more or whoever more. I know your secrets...I know everything about you.I know that you have your rights to find your own love.I know you hate dad. but you guys wont have married each other if you didnt love one another be4 right? Love fades away as time passes...I know! But I know you never sign the divource paper coz you never wanted to leave this family! You never wanted to leave us. I know! But hey...since young, I have been tolerating all these...is it time for me to take a rest? If I am allowed,I wanna leave this place for a holiday.Just me.Alone.Not answering any of your calls! You've been like these always...Im the only one with dad tolerating you. Everyone's trying ... can you? I myself,13,trying too. would you give it a try? I know you wont read this anyway... I just need some place to express everything in my heart! Dad's here with me and of course I cant tell anything...and a maid...what would she know? No one's here already...everything's kept right in my heart! I would die if I continue to be like this.. I need a place to cry... Thats why I wanna go home... I know you love me but the way you express love is just too weird you know? Its just like...I dunoe! Its to forceful...if I dun do what you want,you say I dun love you anymore. You say you rather abort me off last time...you say im a useless daughter. Yeah...those comments...have a spare a thought for my feelings?You say you love me but yeah...love me but you wanna abort me...how hypocrite is that? Would you try and spare a thought for me?pls... xoxo, Happy thoughts! |
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