Friday, June 30, 2006
Just onlly recently,me and shruthi quarelled.Was a minor one,I was sad.I said something that irritated her I should say.I feel so sorry about everything that I said that hurt whomever it hurt.Sometimes,Im just that stupid and my brain work slower than my mouth.Things come out of my mouth before I could even think if its correct to say.Thats how stupid and foolish I am!I wrote her a letter saying that I am very sorry and that I treasured this friendship alot...To her,maybe I seems like just a very gd friend and funny friend.But her to me,its a total different story.Every friend I have,including all the cliques in 1/9 and vanessa and more...I treat them as one of my family,as in I really care and love them!We learn to forgive when ' she ' taught us how to, forgiveness lets the big and heavy stone down from your heart. Living in stressfulness of choir and studies...I really continued to walk tiredly to the sat and sun.Although I know I wouldn't have anytime to rest or more.I have to go back on Sat's to practice singing,Sunday there's piano lessons and vocal.Tiring, singing day and long,I just really want to say,I've tried my best.I just dunnoe why she thinks that we arent trying hard enough.I've come to sch early to practice,going home late because of practices,I've done everything I could do to make things better or improve it.Why does she keep saying that we arent putting enough effort?Is it my problem that I really never tried hard?I sang till my throat hurts...There are more practices ahead for us to complete till the choir olympics. The moment that we have been waiting for always.I put in too much effort,I tried my best already.I really cant do anything better than this.I just too tired,standing up for hours only letting us sit for a few minutes?Letting us sing and sing for the whole day,tiring and boring practices?Getting scoldings?I just too tired to continue,I know that everyone is trying but working and working everyday just doesnt seems to work,everyone is tired.Practice over and over again,who doesnt get bored or tired?We all gets tired,but I still come for practices,I still hang it on coz I know choir olympic is something that isnt kidding. We promised to work together but everytime,it was not enough.Why?I think its already enough although I know our standards have dropped.Only sec 1 and 2's singing,not enough mature voice and those.But Does she knows that we are also very tired?But I know I will continue,I love singing, I love choir but...Some point of times, I need rest.Just a few hours of slp or some rest will be enough but...I dont have any.... xoxo, Happy thoughts! |
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